Friday, May 18, 2012

FACEBOOK IPO- supersedes Mike Myers parody

When I read about FACEBOOK's recent IPO this morning my mind immediately went to a Mike Myer's Dr. Evil voice and said, "Our FACEBOOK is worth $104 million dollars, no wait...$104 billion dollars or was that trillion dollars, it doesn't really matter Mr Bigglesworth, because there are 7 billion people on earth and 1.5 billion of them are currently using FACEBOOK / internet at least 2 hours and 6 mins per day according to studies, so we still have 5.5 billion people to strategically sell things to,  I mean "to connect appropriately" and 1.5 billion of those folks live in Africa...mmmmhaaahaaaaa, mmmmmmhaaaaahaaaaa, mmmmmhaaaaaaahaaaa".

Dr Evil is correct, there are 1.5 billion FACEBOOK accounts worth 104 billion dollars. Mark Zuckerberg is simply counting on advertising revenue to actually make money. The only way to do this is to sell your personal information to third party advertisers. Why don't more folks feel as though this is the least bit spooky and why is it that when ever someone finds out that I have never been on FACEBOOK they always exclaim, "you are so lucky, don't ever start!". This statement sounds like someone who is warning you of the inherent addictions of nicotine, caffeine, or methamphetamine. Next time you purchase something and you have no idea why you did, go home and cross reference it with the targeted advertising on your FB account and you might just find out why you bought the health insurance for your dog. If you get a chance check out the Huffington Post article day lighting some of the ways FACEBOOK snags your phone numbers and addresses. Two congressmen (D & R) are currently trying to stop a FACEBOOK practice of selling teenager information to third parties.

The irony of this thing called FACEBOOK is that there is absolutely nothing tangible to trade or sell. The de facto achilles heel to this virtual company is the fact that 1.5 billion people could simply unplug at anytime anywhere rendering it nonexistent. As thousands of employees at FACEBOOK become multi millionaires overnight, I pledge to start sending folks in the SW community more nuggets via the US Postal Service.

The first person to officially close a FACEBOOK account (email proof of closure) will receive a Hincapie Steel WÜl jersey. Naturally, this person will have more time to pedal or pedal safer as they will not be looking down at their phone as often.

Zuckerberg would look good in grey.

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